Sunglasses, Sparkle & Scenes of Life

Thursday, February 23rd, 2012
I am now a stalker.That’s a great opening line. Maybe I’ll use it in one of my next novels. But on second thought, it’s probably already been used. In this case, though dramatic, it’s not nearly the truth.

I have, though, become an observer. Instead of sitting in a dark, isolated coffee shop, I now choose those in well trafficked areas, and sit by the – preferably – sunlit window; ostensibly pecking away on my ancient laptop, but instead observing vignettes of life as they unfold on the other side of the glass. Everything looks like a painting to me now; and I sit, eyes hidden behind my prescription sunglasses, trying to recapture it on my digital canvas.

A segue… Isn’t ‘ancient laptop’ an oxymoron? But it’s true. This baby will never fit into a purse. It demands its own carrying case and can last barely half an hour without being plugged in. And it is sloooowwwww.

…and back. Today’s subject: a girl, apparently not yet twenty, pushing a baby carriage, and accompanied by another child slightly older than the one in the carriage. They meander down the street, the girl allowing the walking child to wander, but not too far. How can such a young one find herself responsible for two children and be so happy about it? I was dying to know.

As she approached the bakery, the answer became clear. A women emerged, and lifting the baby from the carriage, swung him? around in a circle; then swooped down to kiss the walking child and then the girl. Had I not been across the street and wearing sunglasses, I would surely have been blinded by the sparkle of the ring on her left ring finger.

After giving her mom a hug, ruffling the hair of the walking child, and kissing the baby, the girl ran off to join friends who appear to have been waiting for her. Still carrying the baby, her packages in the stroller, the mother followed at a slower pace, also allowing the walking child to wander. Their story looks like a happy one. But as I’ll never know it, I’ll just have to write my own.

Eye? Aye? I!

Thursday, February 16th, 2012

Funky Alphabet Series: I, Photo Credit: J Kerrigan, Dreamstime.com

The I’s have it:

Imagination sparks ideas; inciting invention, or at least innovation. Ingenuity, once inflamed, illuminates the way toward the next, higher iteration of inspiration.

A spiraling interval, rarely is it so ill-fated as to be infected with inertia or encumbered by inaction.

Should such be incurred, use it as merely an intermission, an interlude for introspection; from which to emerge indomitably invigorated.

 

Fuzzing Lurkers

Thursday, February 9th, 2012

They’re lurking. The miniscule clumps, strands, and bits of primeval origin that were essential in the inception and growth of the story, but now hamper its ability to flourish. The story has outgrown them, but still they cling, abetted by the author who is complicit in their continued existence. I don’t know that this is the general experience, but it is certainly mine.

Recognizing such minutiae is difficult. You only know that it’s been fully eradicated when, as some experts say, ‘a reader’s eyes fly across the page’. I’ve come to understand that for me, a visual reader, it’s when there are ‘no images over which my brain can trip’.

When I’m watching the story as I read, and then the picture goes intermittent and grainy, it’s because I’ve hit a passage that I can’t smoothly visualize. It took me a long time to realize the cause of the fuzzy scenes. I earlier had thought it was because I had a natural aversion to smoothly reading my own work, much as some visual performance artists have an aversion to watching theirs. Growth in the art of writing has destroyed that delusion.

To eliminate the sentences, phrases, and words that are organic to the story, yet now cause it to be unfocused, I’ve armed myself with a solution of plot, story advancement and voice; and then used it to delicately, but purposefully, buff out the interference.

Being ‘done’ has been a process of discovery, at each stage of which I truly believed that I was. On the one hand, the road I have traveled has accelerated my growth as a novelist. I am developing the art of self-editing, which is of great benefit to editors with whom I may work in the future.

On the other hand, it is confusing and frustrating for those in the publishing business with whom I have interacted in the present. Maybe we’ll have a chance to talk again now that I’m truly done.Of course you are asking how do I know that this ‘done’ is the real deal. A reader long before I was a writer, I enjoy reading my favorite stories over and again. Now, I can do the same with my own, without stubbing my brain on an unfocused scene.

Oops… Dropped One

Thursday, February 2nd, 2012

Time to share how well I’ve stuck to the project list I made last November. The good news is that I haven’t added any more projects. Yay! The bad news is that I had to drop one. Ouch…

Updating my web presence: Cathrynlouis.com is live on Posterous, and all the links (yes, even on cathrynlouis.blogspot.com) are fixed. All that’s left is for the new relationships to ripple through Google, replacing the old ones. On the new site, the entries pop, each standing out as if on it’s own separate page. That’s what I wanted, so I’m calling it done. I love the new low maintenance SocialFollow Follow Me widget. I just update it once in my SocialFollow account, and the changes ripple out to all the places I use it.

Publishing Sparks: Hmmm… I envy everyone for whom learning is a smooth curve. For me, learning about publishing started off rather noisily, and then it settled down into a quieter, but still disruptive, bumper car ride. I’ve… finally… learned… enough… for… somewhat… smooth driving, and hopeful I can use my new knowledge when interacting with the industry. Though I wish it hadn’t taken so long, at least, I can say that I now know a whole lot more than when I started. Most importantly, I’ve found that giving voice to my desire to create an inter-related body of novels isn’t arrogance, but a definition of purpose. There is a thematic environment in which I’m choosing to build my stories, and I should say so. So am I closer to getting Sparks published? Let’s just say I’ve left the bumper cars behind. I’m hoping that riding the smoother curve isn’t as scary as the one I’ve shared once before.

Reviving novelTwo: Hit the ground running, and was thrilled with how well things were going for this next multi-year project. Got the plot and narrative structure figured out, butted heads with my antagonist; and now…grounded. Not blocked, just writing aimlessly, looking for the threads with which I can weave it all together. Sparks had two. For this new novel, I have to be patient and trust that I will recognize them when they leave my (virtual) pen. There’s progress, just unstructured.

Short stories: Not on a particular schedule, the stories are just written as they occur to me. Each day, what happens during my allotted writing time is a discovery and a joy. Sometimes it’s novelTwo, sometimes I work on a story. The stories are posted to my website rather than submitted for publishing because I’m trying to keep focus on my novels. I’ve already posted one this year, and there’s another circulating in my brain trying to get out.

eBook: It would have been fun to take the revision posts on my blog, add my personal notes to each one, pretty them up with pictures and create an eBook. The eBook occurred to me because I refer to those posts so often, I very much want them on my ereader. Once I put together the initial structure, I saw that doing it properly was a major project that would eat up my novel writing time for at least the next few months. I’m trying to keep focus on my novels, so I had to drop it.

Weekly blogging: Still at it – see you next week!

Hook, Lines and Sink… Er… Synopsis

Thursday, January 26th, 2012

Had a heck of a time with the post for this week. I wanted to share progress on my projects, but my brain held visions of artifacts. So I bowed to the pull of the universe, which after all, is far more powerful than all of us.

So what’s on my mind? Months. Specifically, the months it took to compose the publishing artifacts for my novel: the short synopsis, hook, and log line. Each time I thought I’d finished them, I found that I hadn’t. I’d thought so in October. A few weeks later, I revisited them and oh no…how could I have thought that they were any good? Carving out time before Christmas, when I really wanted to work on the new novel, I attacked the artifacts again. Surely, I’d edited them into perfection this time. Strike two. A few days into 2012, I revisited them again.

Yes I know. I’ve just said, “I visited them again, again.” But it’s true. Each time I reviewed them, it was with the experience of having previously reviewed and edited them. In my brain, such experiences accumulate, and over time, coalesce into a foot that promptly kicks me in the pants. This kick inspired me to play the story visually through my head as though it was a movie. WTH? Immediately, the most exciting moments jumped out at me, and I quickly wrote them down.

I’d had a head-bashing time of it while editing the (nearly) 120K version of the story down to the size it is now. Thinking about distilling it down to no more than two pages from the perspective of ‘author’ made doing so practically impossible for me. Visualizing the story as though remembering a movie I had seen, revealed to me that I should use the synopsis to show the high points of the characters’ journey, with the twists and turns that make the story an exciting ride. Fueled by that epiphany, I wrote with intent and purpose, fusing the plot points into a clear, concise, and shorter! synopsis; not a single wasted word.

To my surprise, the ‘hook’ easily fell into place. An adaptation of a paragraph that I had previously – and erroneously – thought of as the log ‘line’, and the first paragraph of the synopsis; the hook shows the beginning of the main character’s journey and hints at the disasters to follow. The true log line took a little more work, as it had to be a single sentence. Toying with the high points from the synopsis, I saw that I could play on the incendiary meaning of ‘Sparks’ to create descriptive phrases for each of them. As I did so, a tag line fell into my thoughts. I’m keeping it – for now.

For the first time, I have a set of artifacts that I believe in; that truly represent the story. How good they are will only be revealed by time and results (or the lack thereof). But at least what I have is the foundation for what is to come. I finished them last Saturday, just in time to welcome in the year of the Fire Dragon. Happy Lunar New Year!

Death of a Curmudgeon

Thursday, January 19th, 2012
Death of a Curmudgeon

Pensioner, Photo Credit: Aquir, Dreamstime.com

Bundled into the sheepskin coat that was his only extravagance, Frank left his second floor apartment. The hallway wall sconces, dimmed by at least fifty years of grime, obscured that desolation had overcome what once had been bright and cheery. On the way to the elevator, his labored footsteps accented by the raps of his cane, he passed the two apartments that, until recently, had housed his only friends. Rob had gone on last year. It took Frank several days to track down his family; and he had been shocked to learn that they hadn’t known where he was. Rob had spoken of them as though they were in constant contact. Their sorrow at having found him too late still clung to Frank. Closer than his own shadow, it was an unwanted specter that he was unable to shake.

The year before Rob’s death, Manfred’s sons and daughters had committed him to an assisted-living facility. The day he was carried away had been rough. Fighting, though strapped down to a gurney, he keened his humiliation, and railed against the indecency with which his family was treating him. Frank and Rob had argued that they could take care of him, but his children were adamant. Having since visited him a few times, Frank had to admit that Manfred was cleaner and healthier. But soft living had clouded his mind. He had forgotten most things that the three of them had been angry about; was no longer able to drum up the righteous indignation that they had nurtured for decades, fed by the discussions at their usual table in the coffee shop. Their unyielding stance had been that people should take care of themselves – and when they couldn’t…well, survival of the fittest.

To Frank’s intense relieve, the elevator was working again. That it had been broken for the past few days severely violated his routine. His last non-Tuesday coffee shop visit was too long ago to remember. Though still able to manage the single flight of stairs, his balance was precarious.  Climbing them – in either direction – took a long time and much of his energy. This time of year, he needed to conserve that energy for navigating the four icy steps from the apartment house stoop to the sidewalk.

The comparatively warm apartment house interior now behind him, Frank stepped from the vestibule out onto the stoop. Using his cane to shatter the ice as well as help him balance, he descended the four steps, very slowly, holding tight to the rail with his other gloved hand. Though the sidewalk was also iced over, it was relatively safe compared to the steps. Besides, he had only to walk half a block.

Soothed by the promise offered by the steamed coffee shop front window, Frank looked forward to a welcome respite from the cold, blustery late winter morning. Until last spring, his had been afternoon visits. Then the present owners put in that newfangled wireless beacon and it drew patrons by the droves. He had no reason to expect that Thursdays would be any less crowded. At least the coffee was better. Arriving before noon, he eliminated the possibility of having to hoist himself up onto a bar stool. An extremely uncomfortable and unreliable perch, it would surely one day fail him.

After ordering his usual, Frank wove his way among the tall and short tables to his decades old spot in the far corner by the window. As soon as he had removed his outer wear and lowered himself into the comfortable arm-chair, Jenny cheerily brought over his coffee and crispy vegetable Panini. The shop was far too busy for her to stay for a chat as in past times. Sadly, he watched her rush away, taking his last chance for conversation with her. For the past eight months, he had sat alone, munching his Panini, slowly sipping his coffee and reliving afternoons from the thirty-eight years he had spent with Rob and Manfred. It didn’t matter what topic they had discussed, the tenor of their conversation had been the same – the world was heading straight to hell.

Soon the coffee shop filled with the new patrons. To Frank’s surprise, they were young, and overly fresh looking; far different from the staid, older Tuesday crowd. And there were more of them, all accompanied by various electronic devices. He knew that the smallest ones were phones, but the others – though he knew of tablets, he wasn’t sure which of the devices were or weren’t. Where the Tuesday crowd was a solitary bunch, this Thursday group talked among themselves, or played companionably with their toys; all part of a vast, connected conspiracy that was outside Frank’s ability to fathom. He clung to his table and his thoughts, shielding himself against the unnatural camaraderie they exuded.

Finally having had enough of their gaiety, he pushed himself to his feet and again pulled on his armor against the cold; wondering if he would ever come back – even on Tuesday. As he prepared to push his way out of the corner, the other patrons cleared a path to the door by moving their chairs and feet out of his way. Welcoming faces turned in his direction, smiling as though he was part of their grand game. Taken aback, Frank nodded to those who smiled his way, and was rewarded with larger, happier smiles in return. At the door, he turned and looked back, a little disgruntled to see that they had all returned to their various pursuits. Bleakness settled in again as he stepped out into the cold. He carefully made his way back to the apartment building, memories of the short moments of warmth he had just experienced intruding on his attempts to return to his condemnation of the general state of things.

With the aid of his cane and the still freezing iron rail, Frank pulled himself up the steps to the stoop. Back inside the building, he hastened to his apartment, trying to ignore the gloom with which his surroundings now accosted him. Once he removed and carefully put away his coat, hat, gloves and scarf, he braced himself with his cane and slowly knelt beside the trunk on the closet floor. Cautiously feeling his way among his treasures, he located and pulled out the birthday present he had received four months ago from his daughter and her family. He knew that it was a tablet and that when he touched the brightly colored pictures they showed him other colorful pictures. Too proud to acknowledge ignorance, he had never responded to her offer of teaching him to use it.

Again using his cane, Frank pulled himself to his feet, and made his way stiffly to the desk in the corner by the only window, where he picked up the receiver on the rotary phone and dialed.

“Dad! Is there something wrong?” his daughter asked above the shouts and laughter of his grandchildren.

“No, no…just wondering if you were up for a short visit…”

“Of course! We’ll come for you tomorrow.”

Five days later, they returned for his treasures.

Same Key, Wrong Song

Thursday, January 12th, 2012

Last November, I went to great lengths to correctly label my style of writing. Satisfied, I changed all of my online profiles to proudly proclaim what I thought it to be. I had studied the authors in my library, and then the public library. I searched and researched, finally coming to the conclusion that – yes! – I am a romantic suspense author. Except that…I’m not.

Over the years, shopping at various bookstores, I saw that Mary Stewart’s books, popularly touted as the exemplars of romantic suspense, were in the literary section. Other favorite authors whose works I considered to be romantic suspense were also in that section, and the novels of several more were in romance, thriller or suspense. It was confusing that there wasn’t a separate section for romantic suspense, but I didn’t give it as much thought as I should have, supposing that books in that genre were classified according to the depth of character exploration or the type of the predominant plot. Duh… That should have rung a bell, but unfortunately, my belfry was empty.

As I’ve started down the road toward publishing Sparks, a reoccurring theme emerged, urging me to investigate further (polite speak for ‘I kept banging my head on an immovable brick wall’). So on a bookstore visit two weeks ago, I ventured to ask – and with a brief explanation, was shown to the romance section. I had known that romantic suspense is classified as a sub-genre of romance, but until that uh-oh moment, I hadn’t realized the extent to which that identification has evolved.

Those looking for romantic suspense as it exists today expect a different story than the ones that I write. The suspense story in Sparks is far too dominant; and though the love story has it’s passionate moments, it isn’t meant to stand alone, but is purposefully woven through the suspense as a secondary strand.

No matter what key I believe I’m singing in, it’s the market’s song that matters.  And according to that song, Sparks may be many things; but it isn’t romantic suspense.

Pre POSTerous!

Thursday, January 5th, 2012

Simplicity. That’s what it came down to. In the end, my love of writing won out over my love of tinkering. I threw out all the wow-look-at-me colors, fancy widgets, and look-what-I-can-do ego boosters that I started with and went for the high-contrast look of a book. After all, I am an author. When I log in, I want to be welcomed to share my news, thoughts and stories; not have to spend time validating an ever-growing collection of widgets and add-ons. I’m so happy that I reined in my inner geek. Otherwise, I tend to go overboard. Look out below!!!

That aside, Posterous with its spaces is a wonderful service, enabling me to simultaneously post on other services. That’s right, I only have to post once – to Posterous – and it autoposts to the others that I’ve chosen. Of course if there are intra-post links, I have to fix them, but that’s a far cry from having to individually manage multiple blogs. So I’m not giving up Blogger – in fact, I’ve added a new blog – on Tumblr. All the blogs email me when comments are made, so I can easily interact with everyone on the service they like best. One can also post to WordPress with Posterous. I decided not to because Blogger was my original long blog platform, and I want to have only one non-Posterous one. Again, for me – simplicity.

I also love that Posterous allows me to have different spaces, and I have made them subdomains of cathrynlouis.com.  I have one each for my journal, Sparks, short and flash stories, and Guest Authors, all of which also post to Blogger. The new space, Retweet of the Day, posts to Facebook and Tumblr. My Posterous site is still under construction, as there are intra-post links to fix. When I’ve fixed them all, I’ll redirect cathrynlouis.com to Posterous, and my Blogger site will become cathrynlouis.blogspot.com again. Search engine results will be broken for a while, but for me, it’s worth it. I now have a platform that extends my reach and will grow with me. Since what I have to do now is equivalent to low-level maintenance, I can strike this off my major project list.

Woo hoo! One down…

Next! …Year, That Is

Thursday, December 29th, 2011

It’s here! The end of the year. Next up – 2012. An amazing time to be on the planet. I can’t believe 2011 went by so quickly. I need two more months! Of course, I’ve compared to where I was last year. I have much to be grateful for:

Sparks: I had expected to be done in June, but it took almost five months more than I planned. Clearly, my estimator is broken. Still, I’m thrilled. Last year this time, the novel I planned to build from the first draft I’d called Sunrise on the Pier didn’t even have a name. I had only spent a little over a month working my way through notes from an extremely thorough editorial critique, which by the way, blew the entire budget I had set aside for editorial services and conferences. For me, it was well worth it, because I obviously needed the help. It’s not that the critique itself was a magic bullet – I worked very hard to both learn and benefit from it. From November through March, I used the notes as I developed my outline and scene table. Scene table? Before I started working through the notes, I hadn’t known that I wanted one. From April through November, I used the outline and table for a scene by scene construction of Sparks. Why? Working that way just felt natural to me. Along the way, I wrote weekly blog posts about process and craft that I will always use. For me, 2011 was a year of excruciatingly hard work, but I loved every moment. Whatever the outcome, I am now an author.

Unnamed new novel: I had started it in October 2010, and then put it aside for Sparks. This past November I came back to it, and instead of going full bore through a first draft, I now prefer to work with my outline and scene table as writing prompts for the scenes. Getting started with this new story is a bit rocky because I’m trying to figure out how to structure it; spiraling among the various short narratives, the outline and the scene table. It’s like working through a gigantic jigsaw puzzle. Every time through, I’m bringing more order to the chaos. Though playing with my puzzle, I still write each day, I’m just not making a cohesive story at this point. I write whatever I choose, and if it fits, I’ll use it. If not, it still breathes life into the characters and the story, and provides fodder for my blog posts.

Confidence: This is the accomplishment that I most value. I now know that I’m able to write more than the one book. After invaluable input and advice from a range of professionals and friends, the responsibility for the words on the page lies only with me. I’m the one who decides how to receive and use criticism to improve my writing. Much of it I deem valid and learn from it; some of it I toss to the side. The business of authoring and publishing is as harsh as any other. On occasion, words are meant to hurt and debilitate rather than instruct. I celebrate that I’ve come to understand that. It’s not a matter of having thin or thick skin, it’s simply the ability to recognize which comments and criticism have substance and/or are relevant to my writing. The pen finally feels at home in my hand.

Patience. Failure is a hell of a teacher. As I have come to accept, so is patience. An added bonus? It doesn’t have failure’s public humiliation factor. 😀 I badly want Sparks to be published. On the other hand, I want to give it the best opportunity to attract the most readers. So I’m not going to rush it. Will it be traditional or indie? We shall see. The task I’ve set myself for this year is to learn how to publish. A WHOLE YEAR? Yes – that’s where patience comes in. I’m still new to this business and for me, learning to publish is at least as important as learning to write.
Next year this time, I hope to be able to share the publishing date for Sparks, and that being an author is my only profession. Wish me luck – and best of luck to all of you in all of your writing and publishing endeavors!

I have a great feeling about 2012…

Antagonistic

Thursday, December 22nd, 2011

There’s no other word for it. But after all, that’s what an antagonist is supposed to be. The one in my new novel certainly lives up to his label. Naturally, by the end of the book, he is to be found out and get his comeuppance. But so far, he isn’t cooperating. Taking him down isn’t supposed to be easy, but he’s making it next to impossible.

Almost since the day this character was born, he’s had everything his own way. Most of what he wanted came easily and those things that didn’t…well he took them – heedless of the irrevocable damage he caused. Today, he stands by the large bay window in his study, hands resting easily in the pockets of his morning trousers, certain that he is above incrimination. Blocking every bit of information, each sliver of an opening, anything that has the slightest chance of provoking his downfall; he regards me disdainfully and says, “You have nothing.”

Whenever I start to close in on the fatal flaw that can expose him, he morphs into a subtlely different persona, hiding his weakness under yet another layer. Almost feels as though I’m writing a paranormal story. But I’m not. Scary.

Above all, I can’t allow him to get married – not to her. I have to end his travesty and expose the monster that lives behind that smooth, urbane façade. Wish me luck. Better yet – has anyone got a silver dagger?

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