It’s here! ROW80 is here! Round 1 Goals – CathrynLouis

Tuesday, December 28th, 2010

I’m tackling a thorough revision of my debut novel, and have been developing the revision outline since mid-November. It’s a scene-by-scene revision of a 400 page manuscript – and it’s my first. So naturally, completing the outline is taking longer than I planned. ROW80 is the perfect challenge to keep me mindful of the finish line. So here goes…

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Goal 1: Complete the revision outline by January 31, and be halfway through my first pass manuscript revision by March 24 (end of ROW80). I’m defining ‘first pass’ as completed scenes (with all scene elements); no placeholders.

Goal 2: To meet Goal 1, I will dedicate at least three hours per day to the project.

Goal 3: Continue my weekly revison posts, which will also be labeled ROW80, so it will be easy to see my progress.
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Join ROW80 with your own goals. Come on…it’ll be fun!

Sign up below, or head on over to the host blog and click the signup link there! At the very least, keep up with us using the #ROW80 hashtag on Twitter, or visit our blogs and leave a comment of encouragement now and then. It would really be appreciated!

One, Two, Three – One, Two, Three… Ssshhh!

Thursday, December 23rd, 2010

During revision, silkscreening is one thing; constructing a scene is quite another. The complexity of my current WIP makes the process more an intricate choreography than a construction. We know that the basis of scene choreography is the Holy Quarternary of writing – goal, obstacle, action and resolution. In my particular case, many scenes in the story also have multiple plot elements in play – the rising action of a subplot, the exposition of another, the denouement of yet another. Obeying the Holy Quartenary while weaving in the plot elements is the dance. Keeping the choreography hidden is the trick. The last thing I want when enjoying The Nutcracker is to hear the choreographer “count it out” from off stage as the dancers perform. In writing, the comparable situation is sometimes described as “intrusive author’s voice”. In the current version of my story, I’m counting it out – rather loudly.

How do I fix that? I realized that to do so, I needed a form of notation – a mapping. So I created a mapping table in my WIP Artifacts document – in a new section between the plot and outline sections. The table maps (links) plot elements to the associated outline entries and scenes. Now, at a single glance, I can verify that every element of each plot and subplot links all the way through the outline entries to a scene. Each scene now has a “writing guide” column with all of its plot element back links. How does that help the dance? Every choreographer uses a map (or notation) of some type, so that each dancer is aware of their territory at each instant in time. In my case, “dancer” is the metaphor for a plot or subplot; and the instant in time is a scene. The “writing guide” column is the blocking for the scene. Wonder if I ought to call it that instead? Anyway, when I start to write or revise a scene, I’ll know exactly what it needs to show. As long as I write to the guides, I’ll be sure of the flow of the dance; and there won’t be a need to count it out. No more intrusive author’s voice!

Yes – I know, setting the document up with so much interlinked information takes time. It’s worth it to me because when I start the manuscript revision, I’ll have everything I need to give my best effort.

Happy Holidays everybody!

Irony – Not Pumpkins

Thursday, December 16th, 2010

Something challenged me last Friday. Well, that’s probably an understatement. It actually brought out the worst in me. I’m pressuring myself to meet a self-imposed deadline. I flew into a snit and ultimately stomped away from my desk, banging the door shut behind me. Making matters worse, I’d forgotten that L was at school, and I had no diversion. The truth stared at me, waiting for recognition; I looked for distractions to help me ignore it. Would I acknowledge the truth, or continue giving expression to my inner brat? I don’t allow L to behave that way, so I had to either give myself a timeout or be a grownup.

What flipped the ‘losin’ it’ switch? It became clear that I had to modify the outline and storyboard. I hadn’t fully exploited the dramatic irony in the story; it should have more suspense. The protagonists suppose that the antagonists are up to A, when they are really up to B. Then the antagonists do something that confirms they are up to B, and the protagonists go full bore to stop them. Meanwhile, the antagonists discover that they should really be up to A, and immediately change direction. The protagonists are still in hot pursuit, trying to prevent them from doing B. It’s not until the climax of the story that the protagonists realize that the antagonists are really up to A. Then – as it should – everything hits the fan.

What’s the problem with that? Not a thing – except that the irony needs to be more explicitly detailed. I’ve got to add more story from the antagonists’ perspectives – which means more outline and storyboard entries. It also means modifying some of what’s already there, to seamlessly silkscreen it in. That’s the crux of it – the reason for my mini-meltdown on Friday. Admitting to a problem means having to fix it, and I’m already short on working hours. The end of the year is almost here, and I’ve only completed the outline and storyboard up to chapter seven of twenty-one. Decision time. Is my loyalty to the schedule or to the story?

Of course, it has to be to the story. It will be harder to meet my goal of being done by the end of the year – but telling the best possible story is always the only thing to do. Nobody turns into a pumpkin if I’m not done by then. It was a goal I set myself. If I miss it, I’ll use what I’ve learned to make a better plan for next time. From behaving badly on Friday to having my priorities in order and well into making the changes by Monday. That’s progress. Just so you know, I’m still aiming for the deadline!

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Update: Someone asked if ‘inner brat’ should have been ‘inner bitch’. Naw – no real ‘attitude’ there; picture ten year old self being whiney and throwing a tantrum. :)D

Ya Talkin’ Ta Me?

Wednesday, December 8th, 2010

Someone asked me – earnestly, sincerely – for my thoughts on writing a book. My first reaction was – who me? I’ve not yet commercially published my first novel. What thoughts am I qualified to share?

If someone were to ask for my thoughts on software development, I could expound at length. How to immerse oneself in the customers’ world and help define their business rules; how to use those rules to determine the best architectural approach; how to develop the application using the best fit for design, implementation, testing, deployment and maintenance. No problem – I strut that stuff.

But my thoughts on writing a book? I’m not as well-versed in the publishing industry as I could be; my degree’s not in any writing related field. All I can say is that I had an idea for a family of novels and an overwhelming desire to share it. Maybe that’s what I can share – my perspective on writing, as someone who is new to writing and the publishing industry.

Using that point of view, I’ll creep out on the limb and share what I’ve learned so far:

Have Patience. Writing is a profession – at least as demanding as the one you’re already in. It is best for newbies – like me – to accept that no matter how long it took to finish the novel, or how many times it was revised and polished; it should still be considered a first draft. Agents are not interested in first drafts. Reputable independent publishers will either refuse or advise against publishing one. Self-publishing an ebook is free and easy, which is why millions are doing it. It’s also why readers are extremely discerning about which ebooks they will buy. My ‘first draft’? Took over a year. So how to make your first draft the best it can be?

The first step – Learn. Learn patience, dedication, the framework and rules of writing, the ins and outs of the publishing industry. Use the many free resources on the Internet to get an idea of what you need to learn more about; then take online and/or offline courses to learn it. Many writing community sites have recommendations for classes. Many universities have online writing courses. Some professors freelance with online courses and/or non-university workshops.

The next first step – Write. Yes, I meant that. Writing is not second. Learning is not second. They are both first. Start a blog, write short stories, write your novel. Write something for readers everyday, each time using what you have learned up to that point. I’ve found that writing for others makes me work much harder than writing for myself. That’s the main reason for having a blog – to post what you write. The more you write – knowing that someone will read it – the better you will get. What? You don’t have the time? If you want to write – really, really want to write – you’ll find the time. I found the time by giving up nightly television. Now I write instead of watching what others wrote.

Believe it or not, you must Read. A lot. Literary fiction, genre fiction – all fiction. Over time (the patience thing again), the more you read, the more you will be able to discern the construction of a book. You’ll start to appreciate the artistry behind the stories and learn from it. Also you’ll start to recognize an author’s style and voice, and be able to recognize your own as well. Once you recognize your own style and voice, you can evolve them. It was fun to reread the post on my voice and see that I was (am) spot on. Pay close attention to the second to last paragraph. I address it later in this post. 😉

Another must do is Participate. Immerse yourself in the writing community – offline and/or online writers’ groups, critique sites, any community where you can share the journey with and get feedback from other writers. You’ll find that you’ll begin to offer feedback as well. Reviewing someone’s work and giving them feedback hones your critical eye. Developing a practiced critical eye is very important – you’ll soon have to use it to objectively critique your own work. Attend writers’ conferences. You can start with local ones. They are a great resource for community and learning. Twitter is a wonderful community builder. As CathrynLouis, I have lists of authors and people in the business of writing. Are they full lists? Of course not. I don’t know that there is such a thing. But they are my community. There are also Twitter story and chat hashtags you can participate in when they’re live, such as #fridayflash, #litchat, #storycraft, #writechat, #fridayreads and a host of others. If you don’t know what that means, it’s time for the learning thing again.

Select your Guides – a very small set of printed guides that remind you of writing essentials such as plot, characters, style, etc; and keep them with your writing materials. I only have two. Why just two? Because more than two light volumes is too much to carry – for me anyway – and I’ve begun to carry my writing materials (in some form) almost everywhere I go. I’ve always got the laptop, my thumb drive, a journal, a writing pad or something I can use to record a few paragraphs should the inspiration hit – and my guides. I’ve even begun to make voice recordings on my phone that I later transcribe. If you’ve got an electronic dictionary/thesaurus, great! Take it with you. Otherwise leave the references behind and use them in your permanent writing space.

Recognize that Competition is maddeningly fierce. You’re competing with a host of people who are writing books; many whose career is writing. So you’ve got to give it your best shot – and even then, you may not yet be publishable. What to do then? Use what you’ve learned and go on to the next novel or continue to rewrite and revise your first. That’s what writing professionals do. Many of them aren’t publishable the first time either. But almost everyone who considers themselves an author tries to publish every book they write; and sometimes, the same one over and again.

So back to that first draft. How do you turn it into a novel that is at least worthy of consideration for publishing?

Choose a developmental Editor. It is highly unlikely you will hear the words “Get a developmental editor.” You will more likely hear ringing silence – as in no response. Remember – you are new to the writing profession. It is highly advisable that you get the best developmental editor who will take you on as a client. I’ll always be grateful to those who gave me a (not so :-D) subtle nudge to get an editor. But whom to get? If you’ve participated – immersed yourself in the writing community – there are many you can ask for advice. If you haven’t, it’s a crap shoot and I wish you luck. Even with recommendations, you have to research the editors and choose the one who looks to be the best fit for you. Then you ask to be taken on as a client. If you are refused, find out why. If it’s fit, ask for a recommendation of someone who would be a better fit. If it’s quality of the work, then improve your skills (write, write, write some more, read, learn), rewrite and/or revise your novel or start with a new idea; and try again.

If you’re harboring a romantic notion about dashing off a quick novel, sending it around until an astute agent recognizes your genius, then being mentored into the author you know you can be; Fagetaboutit! Ain’t likely to happen. Developing your talent is your responsibility. That said, you will find help along the way. One example in my case, is the way I found an editor. I took a chance and asked an editor who is highly respected and widely known to recommend a list for whom my book was a good match. After he took a look at the book, he said he would do it himself! I was – and still am – floored. I count myself very fortunate that he is willing to work with me, and am inspired to work that much harder at improving the story. I’d like to call it validation, but I can’t. It’s far too early. I still have to finish the book.

There are other examples I can give; and you will also accumulate your own. Just be sincere and keep it real as you travel along the road to authorship; and always, always be willing to give back. I have found writing to be personally rewarding and I continue to work toward being commercially published. What do I advise for you? Go for it!

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Note: Since I’m posting this as part of my revision journal, I should probably add something about my progress. How’s it going? Swimmingly! I’m at chapter six of twenty one now for the outline and storyboard. Chapter five took a little longer than I expected. Remember the paragraph in the post about my voice?  There was a long scene of exposition thinly disguised as a character’s thoughts. No wonder I couldn’t figure out what to do with him while he was thinking. I ended up moving him around his condo like a Ken doll. zzZZZZ…. I’ve now broken that passage into three scenes; one in which he interacts with another character. I’ve also interspersed another two scenes among them for continuity and easier transition to the next rise in action. Much more lively now.

Shiny Objects and Other Balls of Yarn

Thursday, December 2nd, 2010

I’m revising a WIP with complex story lines. Even so, my fear was that by now, my focus would be drawn away from the process. I expected that I would frantically be going after anything that looked like it could be a short project; something for easing the monotony of the revision process. Yes, I know it’s only been four weeks – but my brain likes to multi-task. Fortunately, revising this WIP hasn’t been monotonous. Multi-tasking while working on the major revision elements(outline, storyboard, revision skeleton) keeps me from being distracted by every shiny object and unraveling ball of yarn.

While writing the novel, I took a week off here and there to work on a different story idea or short story. Now I’m revising it, and – so far – I haven’t felt the need to take on something else. I know that you’ve astutely spotted the fallacy in the previous statement. You’re right – I am working on something else. Every week, I blog. Though I hadn’t initially thought of it as such, blogging is a separate project that I look forward to and enjoy doing. Serendipity! It’s the same subject each week – my revision musings – until I’ve completed the manuscript. The weekly post is the right size project.

I’ve set myself an aggressive goal – completing the twenty-one chapter outline, storyboard and revision skeleton by the end of the year. So far, I’ve completed the prologue and first two chapters, leaving me a few over thirty days to finish the remaining eighteen. During the first quarter of next year, I plan to flesh out the revision skeleton into the final manuscript. If I’m only now on chapter three, what was I doing for the past three weeks? Reviewing my editor’s critique and figuring out how and where to apply the advised updates, reducing the scope of the WIP, and refining my revision process. Now that I’m sure of what I’m doing, my progress should be somewhat faster. I know, I know – time to end this post and get back to the WIP. Wish me luck!

Too Many Files!!!!!

Wednesday, November 24th, 2010

This post was supposed to be a rant about too many files, because I was frustrated by having to search through so many when I needed to edit an artifact for my ‘work in progress’ (WIP). Added to that was the pressure of knowing how important it is to have a story outline, and having that knowledge reinforced by a post from the Editor in Residence at Red Room, Alan Rinzler. If that wasn’t enough, then came the panic. I knew I would never successfully finish the revision of my complex story without having a story outline and ready access to all my other WIP artifacts.

Instead of ranting, I’m happy to report that I’ve found a way to keep all my artifacts in a single document. It’s probably not an original idea. All that’s important to me is that the idea dropped into my head just in time for me to slam the door on insanity. Why is a single WIP artifact document so important to me? Because it prevents having to open a slew of files when I get started, and breaking my concentration while I’m working. I’m already going to have two documents open – the revision with my editor’s critique, and the revision I am building. Keeping the artifacts in a single, well annotated, bookmarked, internally linked document is what works for me.

My document structure has at least five major sections, the first of which contains the three versions of the story narrative – the pitch statement, the short synopsis and the long synopsis. I haven’t yet written the long sysnopsis, but no matter – I’ve reserved a place for it.

Section two contains short, single paragraph character narratives; each describing a character in terms of the story. As in, “Jane Doe is the plumber who…” I haven’t yet had to include physical descriptions or personality profiles. So far for me, those types of details reveal themselves in the story.

I’ve decided that I need plot line back-story narratives in addtion to the plot and sub-plot lifecycles (exposition, inciting incident, rising action, climax, falling action, denouement). The narratives and lifecycles are contained in section three. For the action plot line, the narratives are two short back-stories; one each for the collective points of view of the protagonists and antagonists. The romantic plot line of this story has no real protagonist or antagonist; however both characters assume both roles over the lifecycle of the plot. So the two back-story narratives are for each of the two characters and reveal the motivations and events that brought them into the romantic story line.

What about the chapter outline for the story? It’s in section four. Isn’t that wild? An outline within an outline. But it works for me. Each item in the story outline is annotated with plot and subplot lifecycle tags. I’ve already outlined the prologue and first chapter so I know this approach is working. The only rule I’ve set myself is that if it doesn’t make sense to annotate an item, then it doesn’t go in the outline. I also annotate an item when it is a chapter transition to insure that they exist for all chapters.

The last of my mandatory five sections is the scene-by-scene storyboard. The only rule I have for the storyboard is that each scene must correspond to at least one outline item. Of course, multiple scenes can correspond to the same item. For me, working with the storyboard and the outline is where the excitement happens. I’m finding that I love the back and forth between the two as the story unfolds. Split-screen with this doc is epic! Because I’m using the document structure to revise a work, I can annotate the storyboard scenes indicating which are existing scenes, which are to be updated, adapted, or which are new – and I can keep counts.

For this WIP, the doc has a couple of extra sections – one for related, future works; the other for diagrams and pictures. The content of the extra sections is not important. Giving myself permission to include all the WIP artifacts – for any WIP – is the thing. Maybe that’s what I should call it – the WIPA doc. Works for me! Now if you’ll pardon me, I’m going back to the drawing  storyboard. Happy Thanksgiving!

Unraveling Threads

Wednesday, November 17th, 2010

I’m very excited. I’ve figured out how to make the sometimes revered, sometimes scorned, always discussed writer’s tool work for me. You know the one – the outline. I’d only begun using it because my editor advised that it was the next step for revising the story he’d critiqued. Now I’m outlining because it is in such harmony with the way I think. For me, it’s the difference between merely writing, and writing the best that I can. I like that there is no strict definition of what a story outline is. I’m structuring mine to be a combination of narrative and storyboard. I get to ‘pants’ within the structure of ‘plotting’. Best of both worlds. 😀

Does that mean I’ve abandoned the silkscreening idea? Not at all. But in silkscreening, the colors are applied to a medium – cloth, a canvas, what have you. What I’m doing with outlining is separating out the threads so I can see each individual one. Then I’ll ‘weave’ them back together in the most entertaining way that I can before layering the story with ‘color’.

Why has outlining become so important to me? I began this journey with several stories – in my head and bits of them written down. The stories are related, spanning a family for generations. I thought I could just unravel a thread from the jumble and make a novel of it, keeping track of the relationships among the stories in my head. Stupid, stupid, stupid – complete with the bruises on my forehead from banging my head on the desk. What I ended up with was a very complicated story with bumps and lumps where the current work arced into as yet unwritten stories. To get rid of lumps and bumps, I wrote short narratives of each of the stories. They now form the appendix of my outline. If I can create allusions for them, great. If not, that’s fine too. After all, they are not a part of the current book. Very quickly, I’ve found that having those narratives works both ways – I can quickly add something that comes up in the current novel to the appropriate future story narrative.

Once the story arcs were clearly defined and separated from the story, the plot jumped out at me. I knew it was there, I wrote as though it was there, but – as pointed out by my editor – for the reader, it was very difficult to see. Now, not only do I see one plot, I see two! Then quickly I realized that to be clear to the reader, I should only have one primary plot. The other one I chose to make a secondary plot. They are both still clear, but I needed to choose what type of story I’m telling. Making the action plot secondary tilts the story toward romance. Making the romantic plot secondary tilts it toward romantic suspense – and I want romantic suspense. Secondary does not mean lesser – I think the romance is still pretty hot. I’m using primary and secondary to mean that the action (primary) is what drives the story.

Even after all of that simplification, I’m still left with a fairly complex novel. The action plot line has five subplots; the romance plot line with four – one more each than I tweeted about. So far in the outline, I’ve got the story narrative statement and I’m working on the narrative statements and structure points for each plot and subplot. My next step will be to complete the narrative statements for each character and how he or she is involved in each subplot. I expect to have completed all that within the next week or two, but let’s see where I am next week. It may seem that I’m working at a fast pace, but not really. It’s that I already have a story and am outlining in the revision step. Yes I know. I’m finally putting the cart behind the horse – where it belongs.

Any guesses on how long revision on a four hundred page manuscript will take me?

Are you an outliner? Plotter? Pantser?

#amsilkscreening?

Thursday, November 11th, 2010

With so little free time, what could I write for a blog post this week? Flash fiction? Short story? As much as I love writing and sharing them, there’s no time. I am revising an earlier work. Finish a draft post? There’s one about where my stories fit in the romantic suspense genre. It’s so close to being done, but there’s no time. I am revising an earlier work. Write a post about my research into amnesia and real estate codes? It would be interesting I think, but there’s no time. I am revising an earlier work. Wait – there’s an idea! How about a series of posts as I go through revision for the first time?

Having not gone through revision before, I have no idea how long it will take for a four hundred page manuscript. Guess we’ll find out together. I got the manuscript back last Wednesday, and have spent the past week reviewing my editor’s extremely thorough, insightful, and appreciated notes. My particular issues are problems with tense, scarcity of transition scenes and a terribly complicated plot. The complications aren’t the bad thing – it’s that I’ve left too much interpretation for the reader. Also, I’ve surrounded nuggets of plot with too much extraneous stuff. To fix all of that, I’ve got to give the manuscript a thorough, technical cleanup; add lots of new stuff; and mine the good stuff out of the existing bad stuff and delete the remaining bad stuff. Piece of cake!??!!

Obviously, I’ve had to come up with a plan. I haven’t a clue whether it’s workable or not. If I can keep up these weekly postings, you’ll find out almost as soon as I do. While fixing the problems I’ve mentioned, I’ve also got to maintain structure and flow; and refrain from introducing any new problems. I was starting to feel overwhelmed by it all – until I thought of serigraphy (silk-screening). You know – the process of creating an image by layering one color of ink on an item, followed by the next color, then the next, etc. It occurred to me that I could use a similar process as my approach to revision. I’ll start with the first scene, getting it as perfect as I can. Then I’ll add the next scene, layering story into the first scene where necessary. I’ll repeat the process with each additional scene, layering story (as appropriate) in all the previous scenes. There are twenty chapters, with three to five scenes per chapter – plus the transition scenes I must add. That’s a lot of layering. But if I am successful, I’ll have “silk-screened” an homogenous story. I’d be very surprised if I’m the first author to approach revision in this manner. It’s just that using serigraphy as a mental image will help me to easily visualize my way back on track when I get stuck. This may just work! But first, so I don’t lose my way – #amoutlining.

Where I Do It

Thursday, November 4th, 2010

Where do I do it? The usual places – the bedroom, the family room, the coffee shop – anywhere I have internet access. Confused? Oh – you thought I was writing about that. No, not that – research. Got you again, didn’t I? All in good fun.

It has happened that my new novel requires a lot of research. Things like real estate zoning laws and amnesia. I know, I know – don’t ask. I didn’t realize the two had anything in common either. At least not until I wrote about them. I’m a big user of ABCs (AnyBody’s Computers) and I’ve gotten tired of dragging my Favorites list around on my thumb drive and putting it on each ABC that I plug it into. Especially since the polite thing to do is to delete the list when I’m done. Then last week, I wrote a post with a link to Wikipedia. The lightbulb went on in my head. I can just post about my favorite online reference sources. That way, I always have my favorites online and can share them as well. Win-win.

What are my most used references? Along with everyone else, I use Wikipedia. The articles are really quite informative. Even though I feel compelled to verify each one I use, they are a great starting point. Another favorite of mine is the Free Online Dictionary and Thesaurus; which also has tabs for medical and legal dictionaries, idioms, acronyms, it’s own encyclopedia and also Wikipedia. One stop word shopping.

For technical information, I have a monthly subscription to the O’Reilly Safari Books online library. It’s a technical book lover’s dream – like being in your favorite candy store. It doesn’t have every publisher, but it does have a goodly number. Of course, O’Reilly books are included. Even though the site requires a monthly subscription, it is far below the yearly budget I’ve previously had to set aside for individual technical books – that by their very nature are soon outdated (technology changes very quickly). The best part is that I have access to far more books than I would have been able to get if I were still buying them individually. There is a universe of titles covering everything from selections of the For Dummies series, through a myriad of programming, social media, personal improvement and internet titles, to severely geeky tomes like The Handbook of Finance.

Just recently, I’ve found a site that’s like Safari Books – but for all subjects. Questia.com. Y’all who are pros at online research probably know about it already. For me it was a revelation – complete with the choir singing in the background. 🙂 It is also a subscription site, and I think well worth it. An extremely large collection of books and scholarly journals – all online. For most items I’ve researched, Questia has all the information I need. When I do have to go the library, it’s now for second, or more often third level references.

I hope you find these links as useful as I do. Do you have reference sites that you would like to share? Leave them in comments if you do. This post will always be the only one in the References category. Enjoy!

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Update: The links in this post are shortened for informational purposes. The only affiliate link is the one for Questia.

Update (11/24/2010): Adding two reference links:

Update (12/16/2010): James Scott Bell’s blog. Check out his Writer’s Page!

Update(05/24/2011): These are favorite references I’ve been using for a while:

Meme’s Lesson

Thursday, October 28th, 2010
Lately, I’ve been visited by writing prompts. The one for last week inspired Beauty Secret. The one for this week inspired Meme’s Lesson, which I’m sharing with you below. Enjoy!
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Meme's Lesson

AUTUMN COLORS – VIOLET STAR LEAF AND GREEN BUG, Photo Credit: Imaengine, Dreamstime.com

My grandmother relaxes in her ancient rocking chair; her head bent over the hand-sized fabric doll she has just sewn. She reaches over and pinches a small tuft of cotton from the giant ball resting on the rickety table beside her. Her movements are languid, yet methodical as she stuffs the doll. It’s the latest of a countless number that she has made, and her clients love her for it. The basket beside her is filled with them, made from fabrics of every shade of the human rainbow. I am Antoinette and I have traveled here from Manhattan to ask my grandmother for advice. At the moment, I am pacing in frustration, annoyed that Meme does not understand the severity of my problem. “Sit down child,” she scolded in her soft, hypnotic Louisiana drawl. “You’re going to fall through one of those loose planks. Then where will you be?”

“Under the porch I guess,” I sassed her.

Meme laughed under her breath as she glanced up at me. “Now Annie don’t get peeved with me. I am not your problem.” She threaded her needle to finish off the newly stuffed doll. “Besides, you’re missing the obvious.”

“Then enlighten me Meme,” I said, the harshness of anxiety in my tone.

My grandmother, the voodoo doctor, remains unperturbed. She is far from the backwards old lady she may seem to be, having earned doctoral degrees in both psychology and botanical medicine. Her several acre botanical garden sprawls behind her tiny, picturesque cottage; all that is left of the plantation that once spread for a few hundred acres along the marshy bank of Bayou Saint LaCroix. Many are curious about my grandmother’s garden, as it is filled with the same plants that are in the factory gardens of many pharmaceutical companies. However, snakes slithering in and out of the nearby bayou are a more than sufficient deterrent. The medicines Meme derives from her plants differ from mass produced ones only in that she uses undiluted plant extracts – making them far more potent. It’s not that my grandmother pretends to be backward; it’s that her clients see what they want to see and she allows it.

“So you come to me as Mama Leveaux – to take away your problems?” she teased, paying me back for my sass. By an unknown – to me at least – consensus, clients reward the best voodoo doctor of the generation with the honorary title of Mama Leveaux, paying homage to the greatest voodoo queen of them all. My grandmother wears the title proudly.

“Meme, you know that’s not true. I hate for you to think that of me,” I answered as I went to her and knelt anxiously by her side. So much for sass. “But I do need your help. I’m… I’m caught between two realities is the best I know how to describe it. One that is just beyond my reach and the other that won’t let me go.”

It’s as if Meme hasn’t heard me. She attaches the long sticking pin to the doll, latticing it through the gris-gris pocket on its back. Then she wraps the completed doll in a plastic gift bag and ties the bag off with a bow. Still seeming to ignore me, she places the doll in the basket and picks up the fabric for the next one. “Strange thing,” Meme muses. “I always offer a client the basket and they invariably choose a doll closest to their own complexion. As if the color of the doll helps their healing.”

Meme practices voodoo blanc, where clients sometimes use dolls as a kind of acupuncture stand-in. They use the pin to pierce the doll in the problem area before they take my grandmother’s potions. This is different from voodoo rouge (sometimes noir) – which isn’t really voodoo at all – where the doll is used to try to cast pain on someone else. I again attempt to capture her attention. “Meme, there is no potion that can help me with my problem. I’m asking for your advice – as my grande mere.” I lay my head on her knee. “All my life I’ve watched you move through different realities – sometimes several at the same time. Please – tell me what to do.”

Meme stopped rocking and placed her hand gently along the side of my face, lightly stroking my cheek with her fingertips. The gentleness of her touch eases my anxiety. “The reality that won’t let you go hangs onto you because you are too good at what you do. But you already know that.”

Now that I had her complete attention, I could wait patiently while she gathered her words and mentally translated them into her second language. In a few moments, she continued. “You’re overlooking the ingredient that will help you to push against that reality and use the momentum of the push to stretch out and grasp your new reality with both hands.”

In disbelief, I exclaimed, “Meme! A physics lesson?”

Meme laughed out loud this time. “Call it what you will. Truth is truth.”

“But you make it sound like I already have what I need,” I objected. “What ingredient am I overlooking?”

“Silly child.” Meme bent and kissed my cheek, softening her rebuke. “It’s the same thing my clients use with my dolls and potions to heal themselves. The same thing that makes Voodoo such a powerful, spiritual magic,” she answered. Her eyes deepened, becoming as tranquil as the bayou that nourishes her garden. “Quite simply… Faith. You already have it – all you need to do is use it.”

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